Posts Tagged ‘how to break a bad habit’

Seize Your Day! Making Habit Changes

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

 

Good morning everyone and welcome to Seize Your Day. It is another fine day in our neighbourhood.  It is also Thursday.  Almost the end of the week and you have to ask yourself…

  • Did I deliver on my week?
  • Did I make it all count?
  • Did I work at my personal best?
  • Do I feel lost and despondent?
  • Do I feel invigorated and enthusiastic?
  • Am I hiding out and hoping no one notices me?

Each and every week we will run the gambit of emotions and feelings towards our work, that’s because most of us still think of this as work. 

  • Ugh, I have to write that blog post,
  • Ugh, I have to place an ad.
  • Ugh, I have to research my keywords.
  • Ugh, Ugh, Ugh

 Let’s get a better perspective.  

I received an e-mail from one of my teammates who said…”Well, I am now ready to write my blog.”  He has been here for a while and has finally got his perspective in alignment with his wants.  He figured out the puzzle.  The puzzle.  A fun, interesting, intriguing puzzle.  Not work or drudgery but a puzzle. 

He took step by sure step at his own pace and is now ready to advance confidently forward.  Now, that is not to say he didn’t try a blog post before, he did, but now he has simply connected all the dots along the path and now has alignment with all the pieces of the puzzle and sees what he needs to in order to produce quality words. 

Words that will entice his target audience to listen.  He now knows through our training, who they are!

It took some research and  some skill development, some starts and stumbles but, he never lost sight of the reason he decided one day that he was going to be a master entrepreneur.  He chose a piece of the puzzle, worked through any issues then placed the piece and now is ready for the next piece. He worked out his own rhythm and flow toward his success; He created his own pattern and path.

Five years ago, I started a project to help cancer patients with a little program and foundation called Marq’s Angels.  Five years of research and development of studying and watching of begging and pleading, to see it become a standard in patient care.  A little program now three top cancer care facilities.  Three?  That’s not very many, right?  Do I care, no I do not…it is three more than five years ago and 1000’s of people who survived a death sentence a little longer and much better.  I could have stopped along the way and said, “I gave it a try but no one wanted to listen.”  I could have said, “I did the best I could but it just wasn’t meant to be.” To me it became an intriguing puzzle to be solved and I thought every day, just one more piece, just one more and then another until one person listened and then another. And I am on my way to creating something that five years ago looked impossible.  “Too new age.”  “Too untraditional.”  “No foundation in medicine.”  To…. “Well I’ll be darned, this just might work.”  “Let’s take another look.”  “Let’s use is as part of our protocol.”

The fruits of my labour are not my ego and my program but the families and the people who are now uniting to help more people, one person at a time.  Just like we build our businesses and our lives… one person, one level at a time. 

We have to find the right lever for change and we discussed this a bit on Tuesday.  I gave you some homework for you to make some internal analysis of you.

  • Recognizing that things are out of alignment.
  • Discovering where the change really needs to take place
  • Getting back into alignment

All of this is to allow you to gather and structure information and sift through everything coming at you and take out what you need to progress and let the other stuff go flittering away in the wind.

Stop reading stupid things and watching mind numbing TV, and instead use your time more efficiently.  We have so little time to make our mark, to achieve our personal best, to be all who we can be; we cannot waste a single moment in our pursuit.

  • This will help you to build relationships with people close to you and your business partners
  • It will improve your performance and help you work at your personal best and to develop leadership skills and confidence in yourself.

So we have to look at what supports us or hinders us.

We look at our environment, our behaviour, our capabilities, our beliefs and values, how we define ourselves, and what our purpose is.

If our purpose is not strong, we are likely waver.  It is like this…if I have a good paying job and I am reasonably satisfied, I am not likely to really pursue anything else unless the environment changes.

If I have a strong desire to work for myself and I have taken the time to assess the risks and rewards and aligned those values I will still have to do some further investigation to ensure everything is in perfect alignment to achieve success.

After I have established that my why, my purpose is strong, my desire is great, then I have to look at the other variables.

My Environment

  • Where do I work best?
  • What kind of environment might be best, minimalist, modern or traditional?
  • What kind of people do I have around me to support or thwart my efforts?
  • What time of day do I feel good and energized, morning lark or night owl?

Questions like these will give you the right kind of data so you can decide what environment issues you may need to work on to align things for success.

We also have to access our behaviour patterns.  This is all about what you say and do.  What you consciously, actually do.  Because we know that what we think about will create actions, this is also about what we think as well as our actions.  All your behaviour must be aimed at your purpose and have a positive intention for you.

Change at the behavioural level is easy to make when you have a real sense of purpose.  It fits with your sense of identity and your beliefs and values.

Some questions we need to ask ourselves are

  • Do my behaviours fit with the sense of who I am?
  • What do I do that makes it interesting and fun?
  • What do I find myself saying habitually? Can I see any patterns? Is there monkey hatter or clear thoughts that align me with my objective, goals and desired outcomes?
  • What do I notice about other people’s worlds and sayings? Do I allow people to negatively impact me and how does that affect my decisions?
  • Do I allow undue influence or do I analyze things in perspective?
  • How aware am I of other people’s behaviour? How they walk, the tome of their voice, their smile their confidence?
  • How does my breathing change and when?
  • What body language do I adopt in different situations, particularly stressful events?
  • What do I sound like?

These are the kinds of questions that you require the answers to, not just in business but to be successful in life. 

***To be a person who knows at their core that nothing can get under your skin and if it does, you easily shift back to balance.  You are a Shaolin Monk., calm, centered, breathing easily and deeply, relaxed and confident in your own skin.

In order to create positive change, you must develop the habits and behaviours that serve you well.  We have been heat seeking missiles these past weeks honing in on a habit we want to create or break and you should be right there, right now.  It should be second nature and part of who you are, right now.

 Is it? 

Have you put in the effort?

Remember that even small changes, almost insignificant changes have incremental effect.  If you are slimming to fit into the skinny jeans then eating a salad each day instead of a sandwich is one step and will become a way of eating and being if you do it every single day.

Building a business, making one change that will get you closer to your goal, one more call, when you just don’t feel like it, one more stab at that blog post, 15 more minutes dedicated to setting you free.

Clear SMART goals, a beginning and an end.  Know the parameters and testing the limits.

The one thing I gave you at the beginning of this journey was your journal or victory log.  Writing in that every day.  When we have trouble establishing goals and keeping promises to ourselves, that is a great first step, just write your feelings about the day, what you did and didn’t do. How you felt about it and make sure you write every single day. 

When you go back to the beginning of every week, you will see progression that will move you and give you momentum going into the next week.  Before you know it, you will have new skills, more resolve and determination and be able to persevere when before you gave up.  It is easy in small steps.

Practicing the right behaviours until they become habitual. 

This will increase your capabilities.  Oh, I know you are sitting there going, it can’t be that simple, but that is just monkey chatter at its best.  It is that simple. No one is good at anything, except maybe prodigies, but even they practice their art. We have to do that too.  We must take our natural talent and desire and layer it upon layer of dedicated practice and have a willingness to go that extra mile. 

We all have people we look up to and usually we see something in them that we would like to be or have.  Walk a mile in their shoes.  Take a piece of them with you. Emulate who they are, what they do and soon you won’t see a difference, you will be that and who you wish to be and then you will look further and seek to be better because we never stop growing, we always have another rung on our ladders and we all can contribute to others who may be looking up at us.

Okay, so what about those unwanted behaviours, the things you do and don’t wish to do?  This is like smoking or bad eating habits or making bad working choices.  They are harder for you because they are linked to other higher logical levels involving beliefs or how you define yourself.

I will give you some examples of self talk that your mind will establish as an absolute.

I am a smoker – Identity

I need to eat when I get stressed – a statement of belief

She is strong – environmental identity and imposed belief

I can’t live on salad and fruit – belief.

I am short, I am dumb.  I can’t spell- How you define yourself will determine who you become. Who you are right now.

I am strong.  I can handle anything.  I am a great writer.  I can talk a blue streak.  I can do 15 more minutes, it is easy. That salad is delicious I am going to have it tomorrow too. I am thin.  I don’t smoke.  I never sweat.  I live with purpose.  I give more than i receive.  I don’t know the meaning of can’t, in fact is that even a word?

I am exactly who I want to be.

How do you talk to yourself and others?  How do you talk to your children?  What do other people think about you by how you talk, act or react? There are no monsters in the closet or demons under the bed.  It feels real and you are sure it is…failure, is surely looming on your horizon. If you are doing everything in your power to reinforce that belief…failure is sitting there waiting for you.  Take a different path.

Tomorrow I want to hear from you on our Friday edition of Seize Your Day Unleashed.  Come join our success formula for serious entrepreneurs.

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What are you changing, what has changed, why and how has it affected you or others around you?

How is the habit busting or creating going?  Did you falter?  Did you succeed?  Are you being honest with yourself?  We can lie to anyone and everyone….we cannot deceive ourselves. 

If you are living with doubt, fear, anxiety, have self-esteem issues or lack confidence, now is the time to align yourself with your desires and put forth the effort to bring a smackdown on anything that is holding you back.

Your power for today is just this:

If I can dream it I have everything I need to achieve it.

Dream it and achieve it, one small step at a time.  One drop in a bucket day after day fills the pail to overflowing replacing the air that was there before.  So it will be with your mind and your life if you keep putting one drop of positive after the other the negative will have nowhere to reside inside you.

Your internal power.  Can’t be bought, stolen or given. 

It resides inside you just waiting for you to give it light.

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